“Not Worth It”

Life is img_20161008_013524913-2not always easy. It throws you curve balls. One day it is gum drops and unicorns pooping skittles. Then the next day it is a storm tearing at you and shredding your  heart into razor sharp splinters. I have always been the person to rarely say no. I want to help others. I want to be the person someone can rely on. Many around me don’t have someone to rely on. I do think of others quite often.  I want others to know I care because I have seen when someone has the whole world on their shoulders – a simple hug, dinner provided, or phone call can make the difference.  I can be very giving.  I often wonder why the same favors are not returned to others. I am tough. I rarely cry, expect here lately.  I don’t like it. It makes me feel weak. Maybe it is the old age, I don’t know.  I can be callous. I am very blunt. I will stand up for what is right. I will speak my mind.  No one can convince me to change my mind because they want me to.  They have to show me where I am wrong, because if you can’t show me then you are probably wrong. I don’t just pick sides to pick a side. I do my own research. I don’t rely on someone else, except for husband.  I rely on him A LOT, but that is in our contract.  I don’t forgive and I hold grudges like no one else in this world.  If you give me reason to doubt you or not trust you, no matter how much I forgive you, that doubt is implanted in my soul. This is me. This also is all amplified if the momma bear has to come out.

I have had friends come and go in my life. heart-1211340_1920That hurts. But I can deal with that. There are reasons. Lives change and take different turns. Family priorities grow.  The true friendship will circle back around when things slow down. I can handle when kids are mean to each other. They are growing and exploring their attitudes and hormone changes and becoming aware of how smelly their friends are but fail to see they too are stinky.  They are trying to be popular, cool, or just want some attention, good or bad.  They don’t realize how petty it really is. They are still learning who they are.  But what I have a really hard time with is adults being vindictive and malicious to kids.   Not providing what a child needs and not seeing the worth in a child, every child. That is a direct harm to the child. Let me be real frank here: YOU ARE A BULLY.

It hurts to read the words “not worth it” when it deals directly with my family especially any of my babies. And you know what, that really makes the momma bear come out. How can a struggling kindergarten not be worth it? Thank goodness to all mighty, that child has someone that thinks he or she is worth it. And that child will be okay, no thanks to you. What about the children deemed not worth it in your eyes? The ones who don’t have someone to be their voice for them? The politics of it is not my job; we are skimming the bare minimum (if that), are not enough and are not right. I fight my battle not only for mine but for them.  When did it become okay and acceptable to not want a child to have a chance to reach the moon?

My plea is: make a difference. Be a person when that 7 year child looks back he or she can say “I am astronaut because of you.”   Precious children of this world find who are and know your own worth. Don’t let anyone ever hold you back.


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